The Great Game Changer

In many ways it made perfect sense for her to get in that car with him. By all (earthly) standards, her marriage had reached its end.

They had fought the day before he left. Hard and loud and the words they spoke had a finality to them. Their home had become a tunnel of dark tension, and silence hung heavy from its rafters.

Then he boarded that plane with his rifle and his Marine Battalion and they both breathed a sigh of relief.

What do you do when you know your marriage is hanging by a thread and you’re so glad he left?

For six months you live life without him and you think it’s not so bad. Actually it’s a whole lot better than bad. Because a ceasefire has ensued, and the physical distance brings much needed relief. Like a cool compress on a fevered forehead.

After he left, she exhaled, shook off the remnants of a failing marriage, and went in search of a balm to heal her aching heart.

Because how do you grasp hold of hope for change when you have lived in the same mess of a marriage for 15 years?

We sat in that sports bar and I watched as she sized up her options. Because when a woman is cut deep by the words of a man, she thinks the only thing that will heal that wound, is “better” words from another man.

So she went in search of that better man offering, well, better!!!

And I dug deep for words that would make her stay. I searched for words that would send her home alone, with the hope of a new beginning with her husband. I spilled over with words that, I prayed, would make her see the possibility of change in her marriage.

But in the end the only change she really wanted was the change that came with a new man.

Because exhaustion overwhelmed her and cutting her losses seemed like a pretty healthy option.

After all, how do you fight for something you are not sure you really want to keep?

I stood on the platform watching this train wreck happen before my eyes. I watched as she left emails and letters unanswered from her husband, and spent more and more time with the man that would make it all okay.

But it wasn’t okay.

Because what she went in search of could only come from One source. And that source was most definitely not found in the arms of another Marine.

No one can fill the void in our heart that is meant only for God to fill.

That God shaped hole that exists deep within our souls; that yearning for unconditional acceptance and a love worth dying for; those deep soul desires can only be filled through a relationship with the One true God.

We may cram and tug and stretch to make people and things fill that void, but in the end it is a puzzle piece that just won’t fit.

Sure, we can puff up a man until he temporarily fills that void. And for a while, he rescues us from that crippled marriage, and promises us the white picket fence and unending love. He bloats with pride at this new role he takes on, but soon he deflates under the weight of it all.

Because that white picket fence eventually buckles under the storms of life, and his love doesn’t seem so pure.

And eventually we are left with the same void that started us on this roller coaster.

No one person truly rescues like the One True Rescuer.

The One who rescues us from this earthly life and promises us eternal life and purpose.

The One who rescues us from ourselves and our misguided choices, and gives Himself in exchange for us.

The One who can change a heart and bring life back to a dying marriage.

The One who fills that void with a love that is pure, unselfish, and never ending.

This One is a game changer. He takes our leftovers; the crumbs of our life tried on our own, and, if we allow, transforms them into the most succulent of feasts.

He is the One who can weave the threads of our marriage into a triple threat, strong and solid; He is the One who can bring change to a marriage that has been stagnant for 15 years; and He is the One who will fill a heart with desire to see this marriage succeed.

Now that is a love that makes perfect sense!

Giving the best of ourselves

I don’t know about you, but it is not yet mid December and I am exhausted.

Christmas work parties and holiday plays pepper my calendar.

Christmas cards sit on my nightstand reminding me of my to-do list.

Shopping and baking. Decorating and wrapping.

A whole lot of DO-ing.

No rest for the busy as we add all of these “ing’s” to our already busy schedules.

Each year I strive to slow down and celebrate the advent, the waiting for the Christ child. To ponder the hope Jesus brought to this hope-less world. To remember the One who filled the manger and in so doing filled this world with so much more.

But my do-ing gets in the way and just as I lose those scissors in that pile of wrapping paper each year, before I know it the Lord has been lost in the busy-ness of the Season.

This is a season marked with good intentions. A season overflowing with good deeds and meeting needs.

Filling the shelves of the local food bank. Pajama’s to needy kids and warm coats to the homeless. Meals to Shut-In’s and gifts to the lonely.

And we are the hands and feet of Christ so it is only natural that at this time of celebrating our Savior’s birth, we would strive to DO more.

But what if, today, we made the time to stop?

To stop and listen.

To pray.

To examine our relationship with our Lord and Savior.

To have a conversation with Him.

“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice,
He heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on Him as long as I live.” Psalm 116:1

How much more meaningful would our to-do lists be if we gave the best of ourselves to the one we are celebrating?

During the next few weeks, I challenge you to start your day focused on Christ and what His birth means to you and your family.

Some Scripture to read, examine and ponder this week……

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

John 3: 16-18 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send his Son in to the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned….”

Psalm 27: 8-9 “My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’ Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger, you have been my helper.”

Hebrews 1: 10-12 “In the beginning, O Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will roll them up like a robe; like a garment they will be changed. But you remain the same, and your years will never end.”

Hebrews 2: 14-18 “Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death- that is, the devil- and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants. For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”

Isaiah 64: 4 “Since ancient times, no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.”

The Domino Effect

I sit in Starbucks enjoying my salted caramel hot chocolate, and I can’t help but overhear the conversation taking place at the next table (let’s be honest, we all eaves drop at Starbucks, right? The tables are so darn close together).

My ears burn as I hear their talk turn from topics stirring up the headlines, to our military and how they are “making a mess of things.” Heat rises to my cheeks as if they are talking about my husband personally. Logically I know they are not, but we stand beside our men and women in uniform and know the sacrifices they make everyday.

As a military spouse, we don’t have the luxury of offering our opinion on current events because we know, when boiled down and served up, those current events have very real effects on families just like ours.

A husband waiting for the birth of his firstborn will climb in to that cockpit and fly over hostile territory to teach a dictator how to treat his citizens.

A family waiting at home, anticipating a reunion after six months, deflate as they realize their homecoming will be postponed indefinitely due to tensions in the middle east.

A son yearning to be by the bedside of his dying mother, is called up again and sent “over there.”

This is our reality as a military family. The Domino Effect of this life we call the Military. A World event occurs, it splashes over the news for a couple of days, and long after people are talking about it at Starbuck’s, our father or sister or brother or husband is called upon to take action. And they do!!!

So, my anger subsides toward those girls that most likely didn’t think twice about their criticism of the military. I remind myself we don’t have to go around shoring up the military’s reputation as if our own Spouses reputation rested upon it.

And I choose to remember that sweet old man who bought our dinner the day after my husband returned from Iraq.

And I remember the Manager of that restaurant who made a point to come shake my husband AND my little boy’s hands for “serving” our Country.

And I remember the purpose of our serving the military….a purpose that goes beyond Patriotism and American Pride. But comes from a deeper ordering of our lives by the one and only Jesus Christ.

Dare to Repair

Do you struggle to see the positive side of a situation as I do? My human tendency is to look at the negative, focus on what is lacking, nurture all the ways I’ve been wronged, and keep a list of a whole lot of if-only’s.

Lisa, over at http://www.thearmychapswife.net  has graciously made room for my story on how God’s perspective helped me during one of my “if-only” moments of life as a military wife. Click over here http://www.thearmychapswife.net/2013/10/dare-repair/  to read all about my “Dare to Repair.”